The Paradox of Winning: playing like Roger
Between victory and defeat lies a truth many leaders miss: your greatest wins often come disguised as losses.
The Counterintuitive Truth About Success
Here's a radical idea that might challenge everything you believe about achievement: you don't want to win all the time.
Before you dismiss this notion as defeatist thinking, consider the wisdom shared by one of the greatest athletes of our time. In his 2024 Dartmouth commencement speech, Roger Federer revealed a striking statistic: across his 1,526 singles matches, he won 80% of them—yet only 54% of the points he played.
Let that sink in. The 20-time Grand Slam champion, often hailed as tennis royalty, lost nearly half his points.
"When you lose every second point, on average, you learn not to dwell on every shot," Federer told the graduates. “You teach yourself to think: OK, I double-faulted. It’s only a point.”
What if this mindset isn’t just a sports philosophy but a blueprint for conscious leadership?
Redefining Victory and Defeat
For our purposes, let's establish some clarity:
· "Winning" = getting exactly the outcome you anticipated
· "Losing" = receiving a different outcome from what you anticipated
But what if your expectations are limiting you? What if they’re just projections of the past, rather than gateways to the infinite possibilities of the unknown?
When you operate from the known—your “memorized self,” as Dr. Joe Dispenza calls it— you’re playing by the rules of your past. What looks like “losing” might be the universe breaking your attachment to limited outcomes, making space for something far greater than your conditioned mind could have imagined.
The Point-by-Point Philosophy of Creation
"When you're playing a point," Federer explained, "it is the most important thing in the world. But when it's behind you, it's behind you... This mindset is really crucial, because it frees you to fully commit to the next point... with intensity, clarity and focus."
This philosophy mirrors the essence of Dispenza’s meditation practices. When you catch yourself in an old thought pattern (a "lost point"), you acknowledge it without judgment, release it, and immediately redirect your focus to your chosen state of being. You don't dwell in self-criticism—you reset and recommit.
The conscious leader understands that transformation isn’t about dramatic sweeping victories but the accumulation of present-moment choices—54% is more than enough to create extraordinary results when applied with consistency and clarity.
Playing Like Roger: The Strategy of Conscious Creation
There was a pivotal moment in Federer's career that perfectly illustrates this principle of creating from the unknown rather than the known:
"I beat some top players I really admired—by aiming right at their strengths," he revealed. "Before, I would run away from their strengths. If a guy had a strong forehand, I would try to hit to his backhand. But now... I would try to go after his forehand. I tried to beat the baseliners from the baseline. I tried to beat the attackers by attacking. I tried to beat the net rushers from the net.
I took a chance by doing that. So why did I do it?
To amplify my game and expand my options.”
This shift—confronting challenges directly rather than avoiding them—is precisely what Dispenza advocates. When we repeat familiar thought patterns and emotions, we remain trapped in the known past. True growth comes from stepping beyond our comfort zones, true expansion comes from playing a game we haven't mastered yet.
When things don’t go as planned in your leadership journey, ask yourself:
Am I clear on my vision, or am I just repeating goals based on past achievements?
Are my actions aligned with that vision, or am I operating from habit?
Do I have the right strategy to transcend my current limitations, or am I playing it safe?
The Blessing of "Losing"
The points you "lose" during your leadership journey might be exactly what you need to refine your focus, enhance your emotional intelligence, expand your strategic thinking, or deepen your compassion. These moments of apparent setback—when viewed through the lens of conscious leadership—become the very foundation for quantum leaps in your growth.
Consider Federer's devastating loss at Wimbledon in 2008, which he describes as one of his most painful defeats. Reflecting on it, he shared: "I feel like I lost at the very first point of the match. I looked across the net and I saw a guy who, just a few weeks earlier, crushed me in straight sets at the French Open, and I thought... this guy is maybe hungrier than I am."
This mental programming—based on past experience rather than present possibility—influenced the entire match. It wasn't until the third set that Federer remembered his own power: "Hey, buddy, you're the five-time defending champion! And you're on grass, by the way. You know how to do this..." But by then, it was too late.
How often do we approach new opportunities with the energetic imprint of past defeats? How frequently do we limit our potential by creating from memory rather than possibility?
Creating From the Unknown
The most revolutionary idea shared by both Federer and Dispenza is this: your greatest potential lies not in perfecting what you already know but in creating from the unknown.
"When I left tennis, I became a former tennis player," Federer told the graduates. "But you are not a former anything. You are future record-breakers and world travelers... future volunteers and philanthropists... future winners and future leaders."
This is the essence of conscious creation—not defining yourself by past achievements or failures but recognizing yourself as a being of infinite potential, capable of creating realities that your current self cannot yet imagine.
So perhaps what you perceived as "losing" was not really a loss at all. Perhaps you weren't dreaming big enough. Perhaps you didn't anticipate the best and highest possible outcome because it existed beyond the limitations of your memorized self.
Perhaps what appeared as defeat was the universe's way of saying: There's something better waiting for you in the unknown. Are you brave enough to let go of what you thought winning looked like?
As you lead, remember Federer's parting wisdom to the Dartmouth graduates: "Go for your shots. Play free. Try everything."
The court may seem small, the obstacles huge, the competition too fierce. But in that magical moment when you release attachment to outcomes, when you step beyond familiar patterns, when you trust your preparation and swing freely—that's when the impossible becomes not just possible, but inevitable.
Are you ready to play and win from the unknown?
